[Saturday September 3rd, 2005 11:52pm ] new journal; comment to be added. time for a change, thats all. sorry. 17 ♥ ♥

[Friday July 1st, 2005 12:16pm ] ( This is what i have to put up with everyday.. ) 7 ♥ ♥

[Tuesday June 14th, 2005 11:57pm ] ( Read more... ) 8 ♥ ♥

[Friday June 10th, 2005 12:00am ] Haha! So happy! I love summer already. So many interesting things have happened so far, and more to come. Tomorrow night: Highlight of summer '05. Can't wait. 7 ♥ ♥

[Monday May 30th, 2005 9:14am ] lately, everything has been "the last .. whatever." the last monday of highschool, the last official day of highschool, the last long weekend, half day, pasta line day, and last time we're going to get highschool yearbooks. everything is coming to an end so quickly, it's unbelieveable. graduation is now less than a week away and everything from now until then is going to fly by. probably with my luck, it's going to feel like a year. it's weird cause the day of graduation, everything turns into firsts'. first summer being out of highschool, first day beginning a graduate. first day of college. there's going to alot of firsts this summer and for the rest of my life and i'm so ready. i'm more ready then ever before. i don't care if i won't have anyone by my side either. i used to think there was one person who was going to keep me here for a while, and the more i think about it, the more i want to get out. i keep getting emails from the dean of my college. i'm going, theres no way i'm not going to. i saw sarah harvey (lady who came to JHS to show rockport to me and the lady who gave me the tour) at walmart on friday. she was so happy to be able to talk to me. i'm just really excited to go out and DO SOMETHING. i'm ready to start over in a new town with new surroundings. it will probably be pretty tough at first, but thats something i'm going to get through with ease. going to college for photography and it will be a blast because it's what i love to do. i've sat through highschool for four years, doing things that dragged on and seemed like a waste of time. but i'm proud of myself that i made it, even if no one else is, ya know? it feels good to know that i didn't wimp out and i went back to highschool when i took a "vacation" during one semester. i took night school and loaded up my schedule to be here today. there were some close-calls about me not being able to graduate because of stupid choices i made, but things worked out, surprisingly, and now i'm going to graduate on June 5th, 2005. this summer is going to be amazing. i can't believe how much things have changed in the past weeks. i dont talk to half the people i was friends with last summer, and i'm not too upset about it. certain ones fucked me over, and still are, so i'm happy to be away from that. i'm excited to go to school on tuesday for the last time, cause i'll get to see someone special and i'll be able to get the rest of my yearbook signed. ahhh, it's been good jay high school. it's going to be such a good day, week, year? 10 ♥ ♥

[Tuesday May 24th, 2005 7:15pm ] i don't want to give up on this opportunity, but i need reassurance that it's not a waste of time. ( Sad, but true.. ) 7 ♥ ♥

[Friday May 20th, 2005 10:54pm ] WOW! :) 5 ♥ ♥

[Sunday April 10th, 2005 9:06pm ] ( ... ) 10 ♥ ♥

[Saturday April 2nd, 2005 9:35am ] Soo.. i guess it's my birthday today? I don't know, but that's what i've been hearing.. 9 ♥ ♥

[Thursday March 24th, 2005 3:12pm ] Today, this girl gave blood!! I saved someones life! .. or will someday. I loved it and i want to do it again. 5 ♥ ♥

[Monday March 21st, 2005 5:20pm ] 411. Earl, my moms ex boyfriend, was recently seeing a 25 year old young woman. He's 44. Although they must have had something real, according to their answering machine saying "You reached Earl & Amanda.. ", she left one night for another trucker.. (earl, himself, is also a trucker..) Slept with him, and then had her mother call Earl to tell him that Amanda would no longer be living with him. Only in Maine, i guess.. 9 ♥ ♥

[Tuesday March 15th, 2005 10:33pm ] Do you think if The Real World came to Livermore/Jay.. they would live in Murray Hall? Thats basically all we have to offer, right? 15 ♥ ♥

[Thursday March 10th, 2005 10:45pm ] Nothing like having 2 police cars, 4 fire trucks and about 80 thousand firefighters come to your house at 10:30 p.m. Ahh, the life you live in Jay, ME. Danger around every corner, hahaha. 9 ♥ ♥

[Sunday March 6th, 2005 10:57pm ] I'm just saying.. I'm going to be beautiful and pretty much amazing someday.. and you're all going to regret not hittin' this shit. 8 ♥ ♥

[Saturday March 5th, 2005 2:06pm ] (  Oh. My. GOD. ) 4 ♥ ♥

[Saturday March 5th, 2005 12:42am ] It's funny how much your life can change within 2 weeks. For the better, even. I'm surprised at myself. I really am. Shocked. Out of sight, out of mind. You. Finally. Time for bed? Highly doubtful. But my dreams have been pretty amazing lately. So, falling to sleep seems better every night. And, while i'm falling asleep now, i'm not crying anymore. I've learned from my mistakes and I know i will never be that close to ruining my future again. Out with the bad, in with the good. Thanks for tonight. It was wonderful. Even if it was only talking. 1 ♥ ♥

[Thursday March 3rd, 2005 6:16pm ] Class of 2005... I'M BACK!!!!!!!! Like i had anything to worry about.. ;) 2 ♥ ♥

[Thursday March 3rd, 2005 7:35am ] One persons decision will either make or break my future today at 1:00 pm. I'm so, so, so scared. I got my acceptance letter from college the other day. Maybe that will help him say yes. But who knows. Oh my god. I'm terrified. 1 ♥ ♥

[Thursday February 24th, 2005 11:53pm ] Now, more then ever, I'm praying everything works out like it should. I can picture certain things blowing up right in my face, but I would rather not think about that. Things could turn around for me, right? There's always that little bit of hope that will dangle in front of you. I hope it's not teasing me. I wouldn't like to get my hopes up for nothing. I'm sick of doing that. Being shot down after having so much faith in myself. The admissions officer from the college i want to go to called my cellphone today. "First off, you and your work are amazing. I want you here. You should take a summer course, only a week long. You're going to go far, Nicole. I love your work! I'll be calling you back." Unfuckingbelieveable. From now on, I could care less what people say about me or my work. I love taking pictures and obviously I have talent. I'm getting out of here. Maybe not anytime soon, but I will someday. And thats way more then what most of these people in this town can say. I just need to worry about getting things straight. I need to worry about graduating. Actually, not worry. Just think. Pray, maybe? Things will happen like they are supposed to. And sometimes you just need to laugh at yourself. Laugh at the stupid mistakes you've made in the past. Laugh at the people you thought you knew. Laugh at life. Cause sooner or later, you're going to have what you've always wanted. It will be worth the wait, worth every single penny you spend, worth every tear you shed, worth every emotion you expressed, worth every step you took trying to get it. It will all come together. 3 ♥ ♥

[Saturday February 19th, 2005 12:35pm ] Maybe this will be amusing.. If you read this, even if I don't speak to you often, you must post a memory of me. It can be anything you want, it can be good or bad, just as long as it happened. Then post this to your journal. See what people remember about you. 9 ♥ ♥

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